Frances Stubley

In Loving Memory of Frances Damanda Stubley

Frances "Fran" Damanda Stubley, 97, beloved mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great-grandmother, great-great-grandmother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, and friend, passed away on Tuesday, October 20, 2026, leaving behind an extraordinary legacy of love, strength, and devotion to family.

Born on April 11, 1929, in Utica, New York, Fran was the daughter of the late Anthony and Rose Damanda, whose family roots traced to Sicignano degli Alburni, Italy. After many years of making memories with family near and far, Fran spent approximately the last 15 years of her life back in Ilion, New York, the community where she and Ben had built their lives and raised their family.

Fran was the devoted wife of the late Herman "Ben" Stubley, former Mayor of Ilion, New York, and together they raised nine children, creating a home filled with love, laughter, wonderful food, and memories that will be cherished for generations.

Fran may have been petite in stature, but there was nothing small about her heart, her strength, or the impact she had on everyone fortunate enough to know her.

As the wife of Ilion’s mayor, Fran was known as the community’s youngest First Lady. But while she gracefully supported her husband’s public service, her greatest life’s work was the family she nurtured and the home she built.

Raising nine children was no small undertaking, especially while working as a clerk in a local grocery store throughout the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. Yet somehow, Fran made it all seem possible. She never allowed her children to go hungry, to feel forgotten, or to doubt how deeply they were loved. Her hardworking hands, often chapped from the endless demands of caring for her family, were a quiet testament to the countless ways she gave of herself every day.

She was an extraordinary cook and a gracious hostess who truly loved entertaining. Whether it was an ordinary family dinner, a birthday celebration, a spectacular Thanksgiving feast, or the magic of Christmas morning, Fran made every occasion special. She was known for cooking in quantities that could feed an army, including a legendary 16-pound roasting pan of meatloaf that her brother-in-law, Tom, once mistook for a turkey! Her egg salad sandwiches became a family staple, lovingly prepared for children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren alike. Her home was always filled with delicious food, lively conversation, and the beautiful chaos of a large, loving family. Friends and extended family were always welcome, and everyone knew that a visit to the Stubley home meant wonderful food, warm hospitality, and plenty of laughter.

Through it all, Fran was the family’s rock. Smart, practical, and blessed with an extraordinary gift for common sense, she possessed a quick wit and a wonderful sense of humor that could make everyone around her laugh. Strong, resilient, dependable, and endlessly giving, she was the person her children could always count on, no matter their age or the circumstances.

She stood beside Ben throughout his many endeavors, supporting his businesses, including his hardware store, laundromat, and real estate company, Stubley Realty, as well as his years of public service as Mayor of Ilion, Town Supervisor, and candidate for the New York State Senate. Fran also held a real estate broker’s license, having been grandfathered into lifetime broker status through her involvement with Stubley Realty. Together, Fran and Ben were members of the Moose Club, Knights of Columbus, and Elks Club, enjoying friendships and connections throughout their community. Ben, a proud Marine who served during World War II, had a remarkable partner in Fran. Behind his public accomplishments was a woman whose quiet determination, tireless work, and steadfast support helped make so much possible.

Fran and Ben’s Catholic faith was an important part of their lives and the foundation of many of the values they shared with their children. Through both their beliefs and the example they set each day, they instilled a lasting appreciation for faith, family, compassion, and the importance of caring for others. These values became part of the family’s foundation and continue to be passed down through generations.

But perhaps Fran’s most beautiful quality was her extraordinary love of children.

Nothing brought her more joy than a child entering the room. Her face would light up instantly, whether it was one of her own children, a grandchild, a great-grandchild, or a little one she had never met before. She had an almost instinctive ability to make children feel loved, welcomed, and safe.

Her grandchildren adored her, many loving her as a second mother. She was always there when they needed her, ready to care for them at a moment’s notice, offer comfort, prepare something wonderful to eat, or simply surround them with the unconditional love that came so naturally to her.

Fran was beautiful, both inside and out. She possessed a rare combination of tremendous strength and genuine sweetness. She could weather life’s most difficult storms without losing the kindness and compassion that defined her.

Among her happiest memories were the many summers spent at the family’s beloved camp on Piseco Lake in the Adirondacks. There, Fran and Ben created a special place where their children and grandchildren could gather, swim, laugh, explore, and develop a lifelong love and appreciation for the beauty of the Adirondack Mountains.

Fran also loved visiting Florida, where several of her children made their homes over the years. She found special happiness walking along the beaches, searching for seashells in the sand, and swimming in the ocean. These simple pleasures reflected so much of who she was: a woman who found joy in family, nature, and life’s beautiful little moments.

She also treasured time spent with her sister-in-law, Diane Stubley, whose companionship and friendship were very special to her.

Fran’s life was filled with extraordinary love, but it was not without profound sorrow. She endured the heartbreaking loss of three of her nine children, Tim, Nancy, and John, as well as the loss of her son-in-law, Amado. She carried their memories and the love she had for them throughout the rest of her life. Her family takes comfort in believing that, on October 20, Fran was finally reunited with the children she had missed so deeply, along with her beloved Ben and so many cherished family members and friends.

Fran is survived by six loving children: Judy Stubley Cox and her husband, Michael Cox, of Ilion, NY; Barbara Stubley Lozano of Plano, TX; Tom Stubley and his wife, Lorry Stubley, of Bradenton, FL; Charlie Stubley and his wife, Lisa Stubley, of North Palm Beach, FL; Jackie Stubley Thomas of Fort Pierce, FL, and her loving partner, Daniel Bowler, of Northville, NY; and Robin Stubley Baker and her husband, Andrew Hillier, of Midway, UT.

Fran also leaves behind 20 beloved grandchildren: Larry Frederick, Jr., Kara Mower, Daniela Lozano, Joel "Joey" Lozano, Beniah "Benny" Lozano, Ethan Lozano, Abe Stubley, Amber Stubley, Benjamin "Ben" Stubley, Theodore "Ted" Stubley, Nathan "Nate" Stubley, Adam Stubley, Noell Stubley Taibbi, Ryan Day, Michael Thomas, Gloria Thomas, Derek Stubley, Erika Stubley, Grant Baker, and Wyatt Baker.

Her extraordinary legacy continues through her 33 great-grandchildren and two great-great-grandchildren, each a cherished part of the beautiful family she and Ben began together.

Fran is also survived by her loving sister, Loretta Szczygiel, and her husband, Stephen Szczygiel; her sisters-in-law, Diane Stubley of Ilion, NY, and Eileen Damanda of Utica, NY; and numerous nieces, nephews, cousins, extended family members, and friends who will forever remember her warmth and generosity.

In addition to her beloved husband, Ben, and her children Tim Stubley, Nancy Stubley Day, and John Stubley, Fran was predeceased by her son-in-law, Amado; her parents, Anthony and Rose Damanda; her brothers, Pat Damanda and John Damanda; and her sisters, Marie Eselin, Louise Smith, and Jennie Reppel.

For those who knew Fran, her legacy will not be measured simply by the remarkable 97 years she lived, but by the countless lives she touched, the traditions she created, the strength she gave to others, and the love that will continue through generations of her family.

She taught her children that love was something you gave freely, that family was everything, and that even in life’s most difficult moments, there was always room for kindness, laughter, and one more person at the dinner table.

Fran. Mom. Grandma. NaNa. MeMe.

So many names, each spoken with extraordinary love.

You were our rock, our comfort, our strength, and the heart of our family. We will miss your beautiful smile, your warm embraces, your delicious meals, and the simple comfort of knowing you were always there.

We will think of you with every family gathering, every Thanksgiving table, every Christmas morning, every visit to Piseco Lake, and every seashell we find along the shore.

We love you more than words can ever express. And while our hearts are broken by your passing, we find peace in knowing that you are finally resting, surrounded by the love of those who went before you.

Your love will remain with us always.

Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend Fran’s Visitation Service. It will be held on Tuesday, November 17th from 4:00 – 6:00 pm and Wednesday, November 18th from 9:00 – 10:00 am at the Applegate-Day & Enea Family Funeral Home located at 102 West St., Ilion, NY 13357.

Relatives and friends are also respectfully invited to attend Fran’s Mass of Christian Burial that will be held on Wednesday, November 18th at 10:30 am at The Church of Annunciation in Ilion, NY. She will be laid to rest alongside her husband, Ben, at St. Agnes Cemetery located On State Rte 5 in N. Ilion, NY.

Arrangements are being handled by Enea, Ciaccia & Applegate Funeral Directors.